6 Ways to Know if He's Into You or Just Being Nice

If you have a crush on a coworker or fuzzy feelings for the neighbor who helps carry your groceries in, it can be frustrating to constantly guess what’s friendly versus flirty. It's just so easy to over analyze what a guy you really like is doing while trying to figure out if he likes you the same way.  You may find yourself asking “is he attracted to me or just being nice?”

How Can You Tell If a Guy Likes You at Work? 

This is especially hard in the workplace, where flirting can be tricky if you don’t want to cross any professional lines.  Sometimes a guy is just being nice, but sometimes, he's really into you too. If you were to run into him outside the office, would his behavior change? Or is it simply a teammate camaraderie and nothing more? 

For example, if most of your conversation revolves around his feelings for other girls, he's probably just making conversation. Sure, plenty of guys will work in a story sometimes about other girls. If it's a constant, though, it's a significant signal that he thinks you're more of a friend.

 
Is He Flirting With Me or Just Being Nice? 

Here are six more ways to figure out what his actions (or lack of) mean.

Meaningful Touches

Does the guy you like constantly offer up little touches and subtle moves to get you closer to him? Not the “pat you on the leg after a joke” kind of touching. Instead, he touches your back, pulling you closer to him; anything to initiate more contact. While not all touches are flirtatious actions, moves with a hint of intimacy signal this guy is crushing on you, too.

Talking Like You're a Friend

On the other hand, some friendly moves really are just that. Observe how your guy interacts with others. If he talks to you just like he does with other coworkers or friends, chances are, he's not into you. No matter if he's teasing you, complimenting you, or just chatting, there's going to be a change in the way he talks if he's showing romantic interest.

He Gets Animated Or Quiet

Maybe your guy finds out you're interested in similar bands or activities, and he treats the news like the best thing he's ever heard. Or maybe he conducts most of a casual conversation in whispers. Being overly enthusiastic or overly intimate means he's not just being friendly. He feels something for you.  

His Text Message Behavior

While in-person communication can signify whether or not he’s into you, decoding his texts could be equally, if not more, telling. Is he texting you outside of business hours about things that could easily wait until the next day? It’s even more apparent if the text conversations lead to banter that’s completely unrelated to work. His text language could give you hints as well, especially if he’s overly enthusiastic with emojis and jokes.

But remember, taking a coworker’s texts out of line can be dangerous for your career, so make sure you have more concrete proof before assuming he wants to take things further based on a few “LOLs.” Make sure that he is not just being nice texting you back.

Grinning, and not in a Posed Way

Again, observing how the object of your interest acts with other people can give a lot of insight into how he feels about you. When you tell a story, do you get a real grin out of him? While polite nodding and smiling is just him being nice, genuine enthusiasm about what you're saying means he's into you.

He's Being Nice. Really, Really Nice!

This doesn't just mean he offered to buy you a drink or a coffee. If he really makes an effort to do something nice, whether it's finish a huge project you’ve been working on or fix that light you can't reach, he's trying to make sure you can see each other and spend time together.

Some guys are naturally friendly or flirtatious, but there are some surefire signs that let you know if the guy you're crushing on feels the same way as you. If you’re worried about crossing the line, invite him to a platonic gathering outside of the office or with other neighbors and see how things progress. If he’s into you, he’ll make it a point to show up and give you extra attention. If he treats you the same as other coworkers, neighbors, etc., he might need to remain in the friend zone. Still not sure if there’s a romantic future with him? Talk to one of our advisors to help you figure out if he’s right for you.